Miss Party Pants

It is no surprise that Mom's room is flooded with people at all hours of the day. Certainly, in comparison to her neighbors who are mostly greater than age 90 and are more than just a little confused, she is a welcome change from the traditional pattern of residents. In just a few days, she's formed solid relationships with the nurses and CNA (certified nursing assistants). It hasn't all been completely without difficulty though. Adjusting to a new environment and learning the system has been frustrating at times.

At St. Francis, her nurse would have 4 patients max, but at McLean, there is one nurse assigned to a 20 bed unit. But there are between 8 and 10 CNA's because the bulk of the work to be done with these residents can be done by a CNA. The nurses oversee care, pass medications, change bandages, etc., but the CNA's are really at the heart and soul of the hands-on care. I remember my days as a CNA, and the work is not easy: lots of work, very little glory, but the CNA's we've encountered thus far have been wonderful and patient with my mother. I've been particularly impressed at how willing they are to take extra time to "learn" her and accommodate her needs rather than just do things they way they might with everyone else.

The hospice team who oversees her entire plan of care continues to impress us left and right. We had one major snafu over the weekend, where Mom was up to her chair in the middle of the room, needed to get back to bed, and realized her call light was no where in reach. Fortunately, she had her cell phone with her, was able to call me, and I was able to call the nurse's desk and alert them that she needed help. Even though we were able to get her the help she needed, this was obviously very concerning to all of us. The response by the team has been appropriate in that they took it to the director of nursing and were incredibly apologetic, but kinks in the system remain. Fortunately the team is working on making this the best possible experience for her.

On our end, having Mom in a safe environment with a staff to call on at all times has really puts our mind at ease. I feel my stomach slowly beginning to relax, and today I was actually able to sit with Mom while she had dinner, and talk for almost two hours. Just talk. About nothing in particular. It was amazing. I can't remember the last time I've been able to just be with her, without running through a check list in the back of my brain. Don't get me wrong, I spent the first 5 hours of our visit hanging paintings and making lists for her, but we're getting there...

I've found this process is about balance. Taking care of ourselves so we can take care of Mom.